Dating a Phish


Dating has never been so complicated…

Usually that’s a sentiment felt by those of a more distinguished generation but millenials are beginning to feel the nostalgia for the good old days as well.

What’s causing this?

The Internet, Facebook, Twitter, Photoshop the list can go on and on but they all concern the online world.

It was easy when we could see the person face to face, but what happens when dating becomes a matter of wires, screens and avatars?

That’s where you get such films like Catfish which premiered in 2010. The premise of the film was the phenomenon of fake internet connections. It’s the butt of many a sitcom joke, the person you are chatting up online isn’t quite who or what you think they are. They can be male, female, skinny, fat, true or fake but we never know since we’ve never met. Forming a connection with someone I haven’t physically met isn’t possible for me. Yes, I know I’m a techie and I should promote all things tech but this is one of the many things that tech gets wrong. The Internet and other tools like Facebook, instant messaging, webcams are useful to maintain connections with people that you can no longer see face to face but isn’t it just a little odd when the first connection is made online without seeing them in person? That places a lot of trust in the person sitting behind the other screen but is that trust warranted?

What prompted me to write this is the commercials for the new MTV show Catfish which basically continues the 2010 movie but in real life with real people who have been interacting with “the love of their life” according to the commercial. These online daters have for years and sometimes decades spoken with, dated and loved that one online connection and are now brought together by the executives at MTV to see whether their soul mate is real or fake.

While the show hasn’t aired an episode yet, I’m curious to see how many connections were formed and were based on true foundations or lies. I know we do lie in person on dates, frequently , in order to impress the other person. But eventually those lies will come out whereas online you can keep a record of all your interactions and retrace your steps in case you’ve forgotten who you are.

According to this report from men lie the most about age, height and income whereas women are most deceptive about their weight (big surprise I know), appearance mainly their physical build as well as age.

What is heartbreaking is that these online daters have put their hearts into these connections and for some it will all turn out to be lies.

The Internet can be a great place for those to reestablish lost connections ot to grow a relationship that started face to face say with someone you met at a party and it allows you the flexibility and security to talk and get to know the possible connection more.

Have you been a victim of catfishing or have you been the catfish yourself? Why did you lie and what happened? Share your story!


One thought on “Dating a Phish

  1. OMG it’s so funny that you should write about this topic. I went on a dating site b/c between work and other obligations I just don’t have time to meet people the typical way. So I tried this dating site and set up a date with this guy who turned out to be 40 years old (his profile said he was the same age as me aka 23) and incredibly unattractive. Since when is physically fit synonymous with 50lbs overweight. I stayed through dinner b/c I was hungry and he was paying. I mean he lied to me so I felt entitled to the meal. He kept pushing for the date to continue at his place. Definitely was not going to happen and I was offended he was pushing for that on the first date. Which I’ve heard a lot of guys do with online dates. It’s a dating site, not a hook-up site. GOSH!.

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